Plants are lost on me

23 Sep

At least for me.  Plants as a gift for me are an annoying waste.  I get that they add something to the room.  Enough of them and they can really impact the quality of the air you’re breathing.  They’re almost always beautiful when someone gives them to me.  But then, day two comes.

Plants are just another thing I’m supposed to take care of.  I’ve got kids, 2 little ones that command a great deal of my time, and a dog that simply doesn’t get as much attention as she needs.  Then there’s me.  My wife.  And our relationship.  All of those things require work, maintenance, and attention on my part.  Why would you give me something flowering and green?  I’ve successfully killed every plant that bestowed on my wife and I except a lucky palm, a currently flowerless orchid, and some tree-plant-weed that’s growing in the backyard.

I’d let those final three die too, but I have a built-in desire to succeed.  To triumph.  Not to fail. And these plants dying under my care is a failure on my part.  Not one I’ll lose sleep over, but still, I have failed to keep them alive.  But why?  Why do I have them?  Why does someone give me a plant as a gift?  It requires work.  Gifts that require work from the recipient should be approved before given.  You would, or at least should, never give a pet as a gift without prior consent and I feel the same way about plants.  They don’t require the same amount of attention, but they do require some and if you’re not one of those people who crave plants in your environment, it’s just a bother.

Basically, thanks for the gift, but I would have been a whole lot happier if you just showed up, ate some food, said hi, and left without leaving me any chores.

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